you give me more happiness than i ever thought i deserved.
you’re every thought in my mind all day. every time i see your beautiful face it gives me chills, and i just think….
thats mine. and he loves me for some strange reason.
i don’t ask for much but you give me everything i need and beyond. i know you hate my indecisiveness, you hate when i click my teeth together and that i don’t let you help me with anything. and you probably hate that i want to cuddle. but you put up with me and i’m forever grateful you stay with me each and everyday.
i know you’ll read this soon.
you’ll see pictures of girls, tattoos, and babies…
then stumble onto this.
and i just want to say thank you.
for being in my life and loving me.
i love you more than i can express to you.
my worst fear is that the past will repeat itself like it always has.
insecurity kills all.
bare with me love.
its taking all my strength.
but i promise you have all of me.
can’t sleep tonight.
i’m a little too happy right now. which kind of scares me.
i’m one of those “if its going good, something bad is going to happen” people.
i just finished up my fall semester with a B. not an A like i wanted but not bad for being out of the game for a while. my bank account is finally getting it together. i have a new boyfriend who is quite lovely so far. things are good.
pause bean! this doesn’t happen to you…
and you are correct. things are never good for long.
i don’t have the best self confidence if at all.
and we’re living in a scary anxiety filled life currently.
how sad that we cannot forgive our past.
it dictates our life now.
or maybe its just me?
its been 10 months since i ended things with you. but you left an imprint in my soul.
a man who loves someone does not say or do what you put me thru the last five years. i wish i saw what i see now back then. then maybe i wouldn’t be how i am today. how i see myself is not something i should be.
you broke me.
thank you for coming into my life.
thank you for the time we spent together.
thank you for the love we shared.
thank you for making me realize that i am a good human being.
goodbye. you will always have a space in my heart.
i only want the best for you.
its not me. and i’m at peace with that.
i love you.
you are smart.
you are beautiful.
set a goal and surpass it.
you are stronger that you realize.
life waits for no one.
today is the day.